(The) Last Friday

Written 22 April 2016

Perhaps it is only now that it is office hours and I am not in office, indeed, not obliged in the least to be in office, that the reality of this 'wide open space' before me settles in. 

Snippets on wrapping up over the past week: 

Fluorescent flower to Angela, laughing cat clip to Stanley. Koala bear for The Cabinet. To guard, so "no one can put files in". And donuts for me, a sweet surprise from the colleagues! 😊

From being relatively happy the first three days to decidedly heavy hearted on the fourth, to carrying a bit of both on the day itself, what struck me was how differently I felt about this departure as opposed to the one before, barely 13 months ago. I took the latter kicking and screaming inside, the kind of kicking where eventually your limbs become so leaden with sorrow so they kick but feebly but you kick anyway because you'll be damned if you go quietly. I took the former as conscientiously as I could, wondering why I didn't feel more. 

Both bosses taught me about survival, in completely different ways. One pacing with the strength of her heart, determined to love even while having to guard that same heart every step of the way, every single day; the other pacing with the strength of her mind, determined to match the sheer volume of work - that flat refusal to be flattened. In both instances I saw health being chipped away at, in both instances I saw a magnanimity of spirit that commanded respect, in both instances it was my privilege to witness battle being fought. Different battles, but real and living and prevalent all the same. 

A mentor once told me, "If you only ever work in one company, you will only ever know one company culture, just as if you only ever work with one boss, you will only ever know one management style." So there is no loss, only much to be grateful for. 

As I left our office for the last time my hand rested for a moment on the silver handle, turning to my colleague who was still typing furiously away on his keyboard, perfectly normal at 7pm on a Friday night, this part of the world.
Open close?
Open. 

So life post-Drew begins.